It's Not Fair to the Other Children...Can I Just Change the Diet of One Child in the Family? Why You Should Have the Entire Family Eat the Same Way.

Why You Should Not Make Only One Child in the Family Change Their Diet

When I see a child who is in a family with multiple children, the impetus to change eating habits usually is centered on that one child. I often see children with metabolic concerns such as elevated lipids or blood sugar that are related to their nutrition. When parents discuss nutrition, it is usually in context of just that child, and not the rest of the family. Most of the time, this is not the best way to navigate this issue.

There are a few reasons why a diet change for only one child in the family is not a good idea. First, most parents and caregivers are very busy! It is usually unrealistic to prepare different food for one child when the rest of the family is eating something else. It is double work for the caregivers.

Another reason this does not work well is for social reasons. The child who is eating differently may feel excluded from the family when they are eating something different than what everyone else is eating. The child also might feel uncomfortable participating in social events that involve food if they are not allowed to eat what is served to everyone else.

Besides for feeling excluded from the family socially, the child may start to feel left out of special treats and foods that everyone else gets to eat. This likely will lead to resentment of the parents or caregivers and siblings.

Finally, if only one child makes healthier changes, the other children get left out of having a healthy lifestyle. For many families who have a child with a nutrition-related health concern, the whole family would benefit from a healthier lifestyle. Even if one child had a specific concern that arose first, the rest of the family is also at risk for health concerns if nutrition quality is lacking.

What to Do Instead

Instead of changing only one child's diet, you can make changes to how your entire family eats. As the parent or caregiver, you choose which foods you purchase for your home. You can opt out of purchasing snacks that are not ideal for your family's health, and purchase foods that are better for your family. You can prepare meals that suit your entire family's health needs.

The pushback you may get from your children should be expected. The child whose health needs prompted the change might also have a hard time adjusting. Still, as parents, our job is to parent our children by doing what is in their best interest.

When I work with families, part of what we do together is figure out how to navigate these changes and make them happen with minimal stress. Some families also seek help from behavioral health providers for more support. What I want families to know is that fear of the change should not stop the change. With the right support, it can be easier.